we don't march into battle thinking that we would win, sometimes we fight, because we want to stay alive.


-- 张嘉佳 《序:从你的全世界路过:让所有人心动的故事》
"small great things"
'Small Great Things' is a novel from Picoult - throwing light on contemporary America's racial hatred and discrimination. After finishing the book, I've gone online to look up reviews and anticipated criticisms. NY Times' review from R Gay has pointed out the book to be messy and over-articulated. Ruth's character was too 'clinical', complex issues about racism have been simplified, Kennedy's character was too conventional... that in summary, this is a bad story, or one of substandard. 

I disagree.  Of course, I am biased, because I am one of her intended audience. 

What makes a good story?
A compelling narrative? Or a necessary narrative?
It is cliched. It is conventional. But no one says that it can't be a good story, when 'good' has been conceived out of subjectivity, and in some cases, relativeness. The Cambridge Dictionary puts up the definition of 'literature' as 'written artistic works, especially those with a high and lasting artistic value'. Perhaps this has no literary value whatsoever, but that doesn't make it less of a story for me. 

Maybe what I truly need is not a story.
"about love"
i've almost forgotten how much i love reading.
until picoult's new book. 

maybe it's not me.
i still love reading.
i just have not encountered any good stories for me to realise that. 

maybe you still love reading.
or maybe, you only love the story. 
why does it even matter now when you've found love?
原来你是 我最想留住的幸运
原来我们 和爱情曾经靠得那么近

2100. 31.12.2015.

The fireworks has lasted for 10 minutes at Darling Harbour. The grandeur was, as expected, more impressive than its usual weekly display, especially at the very end of the performance. The last of the fireworks shot up to the sky and exploded into tiny specks of fire dust. I tensed. There was a prick inside amidst the roar of deafening applause.

Mike and Tony were here.

0000. 01.01.2016.

We missed it by mere inches, views obstructed by the train station and its surrounding trees. It did not stop anyone from their grand round of wishes, nor did it hinder the heightening excitement. I too, have said it, but it felt like something has gone when the syllables were forced out of my mouth.

It felt like something has been ripped away.
I could do nothing but to stay where I am.

I would have chastised myself for being unreasonably melancholic at the end of the year, have I not been overwhelmed by the tear. 
"#13 "
#13 pay-off

They say hard work always pays off at the end of the day, but no one knows how far away the end is. A step, a mile or a world apart.

If your scheme is well started off, your effort pays sooner than others. That implies more effort. Between disappointment and hard work, you pick the latter.

Of course, everyone does.

The thing which differs between you and them is that they do not put things on a scale and try to balance it. Maybe they did, but they don't care anyway.

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